I take great pride in being an amazing therapist. It has taken some time to get here for sure. I have gotten here because I know this is my life's purpose. I have also gotten here because I have received confirmation from clients, former clients, other therapists and the Universe, time and time again. I am a damn good therapist!
But that fraud monster continues to pop up every so often. He reared his lying head after a very intense couples session. One person was extremely angry and spitting fire at the other. There have been many years of betrayal and seeds of resentment that have grown into big, tall, oak trees in this marriage. Believe it or not, these are the couples that I love to work with. I work well with them. I had been working well with this couple and things had been moving in the right direction and then, all hell broke loose. As a therapist, I know this is actually a good thing. In my brain I know, that this is part of the process and things often to get worse before they get better. I've been able to manage situations like this in the past but for some reason this situation brought the fraud monster out. What are you doing? Do you know what you are doing? You have made this worse? Who gave you a degree and a license to do this? My energy field seemed unable to hold all of the anger and resentment that was being shot out all at once, like I usually can. I felt like a fraud!
In the past, it would have taken me some time to get over this feeling. I would have been reeling about it and not fully present for the rest of my sessions. But, because I'm a damn good therapist and continue to work on myself, I felt my feelings and let them go! I asked the fraud monster what it was doing here and asked him to kindly leave because he cannot convince me that I am not doing the work I am meant to be doing. I put a plan in place for my next session with this couple and I will continue to honor myself and them to help them achieve their goals. Often times we can get caught up in fear and believe what the Ego tells us is real. It is not real at all! I write this to let my fellow therapist and healers know that the next time your fraud monster shows up, honor yourself and your feelings. If you are doing your work from a place of authenticity and Love, you are on the right path.
Be kind and loving to yourself always!
Jessica Alejandro, LMFT